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These are my thoughts, yo.

Family Planning: Are we REALLY having this conversation?

jasmine banks

Tobias has not arrived *yet*. There has been confusion about dates and all that hub bub, so we are just waiting till he is ready. We DO know this- he'll come. All babies arrive, one way or the other.  

The other night Garrett and I were laying in bed and in my utter discomfort I mentioned, "Don't forget to schedule your vasectomy, because it can take up to 8 weeks to get a clean specimen and we don't want to take chances." I don't know what I was expecting... I guess I was expecting that Garrett would say, "Oh yeah." Grab his phone and then add the reminder to his calendar. Instead, with my attempt at a family planning discussion, Garrett responded like this:

Garrett: Um. Jazz. Can we, just maybe, wait...

Jasmine: Wait for what!

Garrett: I mean, I don't know! What if we want another one...

Jasmine: What! Er. WHAT! WHO ARE YOU? DUDE! THIS ONE won't come out and you are seriously talking about a FORTH!

Garrett: Well, I mean, I think you are so uncomfortable this pregnancy because it was so close to Addison's birth and maybe when Tobias is like two or something we might want to try again for a fourth.

Jasmine: WE nothing! ..... *incoherent garbles* WHAT ARE YOU.... WHOOOOOOO are you.....

Garrett: I mean I don't KNOW for SURE I want a forth, but I don't want the option taken away.

Jasmine: Um. Seriously. Who stole my damn husband!

Garrett: Lol. No one. I like you pregnant. I like these experiences.

Jasmine: I hate you.

Garrett: *silence*

Garrett: You might change your mind. I mean, we can use some other form of birth control, or just take our chances with nothing.

Jasmine: We are NOT "taking chances" mister.

Garrett: Well.. would I have to wear a condom? Are there other options.

Jasmine: Ew condoms. Yes there are other options. *EXHALE* GAWD GARRETT!!!!!

Jasmine: I am going to bed. I can't even... you are just.... I mean, really... I..... GAH!

The roles have been reversed several times. I used to want to have five kids. I KNOW... *FIVE*. THEN I had one and was all, "Hellz nah, these things are monsters!" Then I had another and all, "Okay so they aren't bad, but I am done." Garrett pushed for the third and I felt like three was an okay number. But four! Uno.Dos.Tres.QUATRO. No me gusta, amigas!

There is a tiny corner of my heart that is all warm and fuzzy. "Awwww," it thinks, "he LOVES being pregnant." Then the rest of my dark heart chimes in and is all, "UM! HE nothing! YOU are the pregnant one and he gets the benefit of swollen gi-normo breasts and sweet tiny baby. Gurl! Don't you even try to forget about heartburn and achey vaginas. REMEMBER!"

What I do know is that family planning has to be a family choice. I am very pro female empowerment AND I believe that a part of being in a family means weighing the needs of others. So I suppose we are waiting for the vasectomy since it is so permanent. And we will figure out another form of birth control (God help us!) so we can discuss LATER LATER LAAAAATER down the birth canal road what we want to do. Why can't he just adopt a friggin' kitten or something! Sheesh!