My psychologist, Dr. Becker, interrupted me the other day as I was rambling on. At the moment she interrupted me, I was spewing on and on about the HUGE mountain of change I was facing. I hadn't taken a breath or used any punctuation in my attempt to verbally extrapolate what I was experiencing. She looked at me very seriously, "Jasmine! Jasmine!" I paused long enough to shoot a look of annoyance. "Excuse me Dr. Becker! I was BUSY trying to get lost in the enormous task that is my life," I thought. She moved passed my evil eye and calmly asked me, "How do you eat an elephant?" I shrugged, "hell if I know..." Leave it to me to be so literal. Dr. Becker was attempting to explain to me how I should approach my life, my world, the much needed changes I was facing. "You eat an elephant one bite at a time, Jasmine," she smiled. "So too, with this, you will do the things you need to do for yourself one-thing-at-a-time."
This is a hard concept for me. I want to learn how to do it and then be done. I want to learn the tools and then build the house- in five seconds flat. That isn't possible though...because most change (especially for me) doesn't happen like that. So I am taking tiny baby steps (like on "What About Bob" geez I love that movie)
But lately I've been very discouraged, overwhelmed, and confused. Garrett encouraged me and likened it to natural childbirth. He said to me,
"You know when women are screaming and shouting about how they are done and they can't do it anymore- you know they have reached transition and are almost ready to push. It seems like this is a lot like that."
When you get the point when change is really happening you want to give up right before you get over the hill.
Learning to appreciate new ways of living is hard. I was raised on foods that didn't really feed me and I am breaking the addiction to over-processed junk. One bite at a time.