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These are my thoughts, yo.

I Wasn't That Into You Anyway...

jasmine banks

I've been applying to grown up jobs that do not suck. I've been a contractor/freelance writer/small business owner for several years. Since I am divorcing and I can't just live off of love or whatever the hippies say, I need a job with structure. I can't spend time as a single mom hoping and wishing and praying my contract clients will send their payments on time. I'm still waiting, a year later, for one payment (LOOKING AT YOU SHAPE MAGAZINE).  I'll have enough stress going at this alone, so I need consistently dependable income. Because I've been sending out resumes, having meetings with recruiters, and applying places a lot, I've also had a lot of rejection letters and emails. I opened one letter letting me know another candidate was a better fit, and I guffawed. The letter was SO poorly written that it made me want to respond letting them know they can hire me and my only job can be writing their rejection letters. It was so bad, friends, so so bad. Which made me think: WHAT if we DID respond to really bad rejection letters? But what if we responded the way skeevy guys respond when they hit on you and you reject them?

Like, you get an email saying that your qualifications didn't match.

I WASN'T INTO YOU ANYWAY!

We regret to inform you that we have selected another candidate.

IT IS COOL! YOU ARE A WHORE!

I'm not going to do it... I was just thinking about it. Do you have any rejection stories? Share them in the comments.