Procrastination is a thing. I'd say it is MY thing: my life is the epitome of "waiting to hurry up". I think I work better under pressure, maybe? Or maybe it is the fear that holds me back. IF I never start, I can never fail. I work better under panic. Fight or Flight has produced amazing works of art in my life. So why knock the system? Well. I think I have to start living differently. I want to start living differently. I have a growing sense that the constant panic and anxiety aren't good for me. By "growing sense" I mean my therapist and everyone in my life has given me feedback and I have a problem. I am pretty damn smart, so I can make my way through the situations my procrastination can get me in, but what happens when it doesn't work any longer? When you've worked this way for years or for a life-time, in my case, how do you change? I'd read a book about not procrastinating, but then I'd have to get through the other three books on my bedside table waiting to be read. I'd make a list, but then I get sidetracked writing the perfect list. Someone told me that making lists helps can help a person be organized and stay on task.
Steps for the perfect list:
1. Find your favorite pen.
"Hmmm... where the heck is that. Ah yes! In my purse. I hate the word purse. So weird. What is all this junk in here? I need to put that receipt in my yellow folder for my work expenses. "
4 hours later I am rearranging my office because I walked in the office to put that found receipt up and after chronologically ordering the receipts in the yellow folder I felt bothered by the "vibe" of the room.
It may or may not get made. If it does, I usually do half of it and then make another list to finish the first list.
One teacher said I had ADD or something. Another said I get too much actually done to have ADD. Mainly I know I have significant anxiety about performance and being all these things I think I should be. So I am asking for help. I want to change. How do I change? Are you the same way? How do you manage?