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Project Totus Wk. 4: I am surprised by my tenacity

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These are my thoughts, yo.

Project Totus Wk. 4: I am surprised by my tenacity

jasmine banks

4-up-on-2011-10-01-at-18.13-6.jpg

We are on the forth  week of Project Totus. Week 1. Week 2. Week 3. Week 4! I have achieved a lot of emotional closure between me and food. Especially my biggest step: swearing off dieting FORVER. Healing my past with food has meant confronting my past of emotional trauma. We all have them- scars. Trauma, when not confronted, makes its home somewhere in our life. Our eating habit, shopping habit, how we parent our children, our sex life... and the list goes on. So confronting my issues with food, why I used it to escape has been key in learning how to eat food that nourishes me. Focusing on eating whole real foods has helped to curb some of the cravings I had. Does that mean I have abstained from all processed foods? Nope.

I am a recovered Bulimic. It is important for me to learn not to label food as bad or good. If a food is considered "bad" and I am triggered- guess what foods I go for immediately? Yep. You got it, the baaad foods. So when I have a craving for a "bad" food I allow myself to have it, listen to my hunger and satiety signals and stop eating when I am full. I am slowly learning that my body craves more nutritious foods. The processed "bad" stuff that I think I want usually doesn't make me feel my best. I am learning that emotionally and physically I am in charge and I can help my body to feel its best.

When you are a mom, at least a mom like me, you frequently forget to care for yourself. It is easy for me to flit around like a hummingbird doing this and that. One of the greatest lessons I have learned from this personal experiment has been to take time for me, without guilt.

This personal experiment has two more weeks to go. I don't think I can call it an experiment anymore. IT  has taken on a life of its own, it has transformed, it has become a journey.

I am reaping the rewards to taking good care of my body, heart, and mind. I hope each of you are finding your center or have already found it.

Moving on to week 5!

Here is how my body has transformed so far. When I started Project Totus (which was actually two weeks before I started blogging about it) I already started the listening to my body and making nourishing food choices, so you can see I lost a good deal of weight BEFORE I started the blogging journey.

*I don't have a picture from week two because I was still on the fence about checking my weight every week..