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These are my thoughts, yo.

Quit Playing Games With My Heart

jasmine banks

I had a molar removed and a bone graft in my jaw yesterday, so I should probably be unconscious and healing... but WHAT FUN WOULD THAT BE when I can blog while on painkillers instead. I'm not even sure that the previous sentence was an actual sentence.

There is a malaise that happens in my life every year during this season. The sun is all "AYO! I'M OUT." and then I feel real Backstreet Boys about it. Remember their video "Quit Playing Games With My Heart"? Which jackass in their marketing team was all, "Look! I think we should put them in pajamas on some bleachers and then make it rain. Yes! They are required to have their shirts open." Poor Nick didn't have a clue.

What I am trying to say is that Quit Playing Games With My Heart is pretty much my heart song about the sun: I live my life the way to keep you coming back to me. Everything I do, is for you... so what is it that you can't see.

The sun comes out and I am super productive and peppy. I scamper around returning texts, emails, and writing. Then fifteen minutes later the sun tucks behind a cloud, the sky goes dark, and my productivity suddenly stops. I lay stomach down on the hardwood floor and try and figure out why the world is so cruel and cold. Emotional whiplash is hard on productivity.

I take my Vitamin D.

It just isn't the same.

Most people who have some kind of mental health diagnosis experience significant Seasonal Affective Disorder.

There is no point to this post. I'll be here on the floor if you need me.