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Rescue Yourself, You Can't Save Them


These are my thoughts, yo.

Rescue Yourself, You Can't Save Them

jasmine banks


You need to hear this. Time and time again you find yourself surrounded by people who are falling apart. What attracted you to them in the first place? Maybe they had that siren call of helplessness that appeals to your inner gift and curse of rescuer. You listen and you listen. You nod and agree. You ask what you can do? You send special notes of encouragement. You look for ways to anticipate needs. What about when you need help?

It is time to stop.

You can't save them.

I know, love. I hear you.

If they'd only listen. If they could only see. There is so much better in this life and you want it for them.

It is time to stop.

You can't save them.

Some people are unwilling to let go of escapable pain. They've learned to be helpless. Somewhere along the line of your life, you've learned to find those who people. They are the ones who help you feel needed. They are the ones who have fire after fire for you to put out.

It is time to rescue yourself.

Will you hear this gentle truth?

You continue to rescue others because you need to be distracted from your own need to rescue yourself. You don't believe you are worth it. You don't believe you are deserving of special notes of love and encouragement. You won't hold the takers in your life to the standard you hold yourself. You let them take and you settle. What are you settling for? When did you learn that you deserved so little love and understanding?

You put out fires to avoid recognizing how truly vulnerable you are. You are both vulnerable and valuable. Will you receive that gentle truth? It feels good in the moment, I know. When you get to save someone from their real or fabricated disaster it feels good to know you've helped. That rescue-helplessness cycle is both a drug and a prison. You love and hate it and need it all at the same time.

It is time to stop.

You can't save them.

It is time to save YOU.