When Sadie and I started this blog, I knew what I was getting into, but she didn't. I told her, " I am going to be a writer, I am going to blog and write a book, I am going to work in social media and create a career that works the way I want it." Sadie has learned that when I say I am going to do something, I really do it. We wanted a way to chronicle our hilarious antics, our experience as friends, and a place to make fun of people.We do that a lot- make fun of people... but the people we make fun of are mostly each other ;) mostly. When our blog took off and began to take on a life of its own I ran with it...and Sadie... she sat down and hyperventilated. I felt empowered by putting what I was experiencing out there and Sadie felt utterly naked and vulnerable. One of the ways that our friendship has always worked is that I find the words and say them aloud while Sadie flaps her hands. I don't say this with derision- it just is who we are. I love this characteristic about Sadie and about us. During the life of our blog we have experienced marriages that have had to be given mouth to mouth, depression, anxiety, postpartum depression/psychosis, life, death, and all the talking points in between.
So now I am moving toward working in social media, I am a writer, and I am working on my book (surprise!!).
Well... Sadie is one of those people I talked about in this blog post. She is someone who still in the jungle... trying to figure out how to gain her footing and tangled in vines.
She is on her journey.
She is not ready to tell her story.
She may never be able to publicly tell her story.
So TheBrokins.com is saying goodbye to Sadie as co-author. TheBrokins.com will become mine alone.
When Sadie and I started talking about where she was at with the blog I already knew where she was at. Her blog posts were becoming fewer and fewer and I was watching the work she was doing in her personal life. The thing about Sadie is that at some point in her life someone convinced her that she didn't matter. Her food preferences, clothes, books, opinions... someone taught her that what she wanted and needed was of no importance. Throughout our friendship I have seen this baggage play out in her life. So when she told me she needed to become invisible in the social media world, maybe journal privately, and insulate herself I.was.so.proud.
I am so fucking proud of you! I am proud of each post you authored on TheBrokins. I am proud of each time you reached deep and wrote down your truth. YOU matter. YOU deserve love and goodness. YOU are important. I am a little sad I don't get to show you off on the internets anymore... because you are pretty much amazing, but I am NOT sad that you did one of the hardest things one can do: face possibly disappointing a friend. I am not disappointed- and neither are the readers! We are so proud of you- proud momma watching their kid graduate with honors-proud. Simultaneously I am humbled to have shared this virtual space with you. Your friendship has made me a better version of myself.
Take care of you.
I am still holding your hand through this journey of yours.
Thank you for the time you shared here. I hope I make you proud.