I grew up in Sand Springs, Oklahoma (among other places). It was a small close knit community and not a lot went on. We toilet papered houses and spent time by the lake, but it wasn't too exciting. I moved to Siloam Springs, Arkansas for college and realized that this town was even more dead then Siloam Springs... which is why you could find bored as hell undergrads walking the aisles of Wal-Mart (the only thing that was still open after 10. Garrett and I bought a home, as we knew we'd have a few years till we were done with undergrad and graduate work and settled in to the snail pace of Siloam Springs. We enjoy the low key environment but, alas, we do wish more went on (or more than the occasional mineral show at the community center, which I assure you is NOT hoppin').
Tonight, though, I was in line at our local pharmacy. Addison has a raging ear infection and I decided that I would finally give in to the good 'ole antibiotics. As I waited in line I did my usual "eavesdrop on everyone around me" routine were I listen in to see if anything interesting is going on. Ladies and gentlemen I was NOT disappointed. THIS unfolded before my eyes:
Man: I got a bad headcold and I need that Suda, whatever it is called.
Man: Yeah, that too...
Pharmacist: You realize you'll have to sign for it an I need a license. No problem?
Man:Nope. Four Boxes.
Pharmacist: We don't sell that many at a time.
Man: Well damnit! Why they gotta make it so damn hard for sick folks to get medication!
Pharmacist: Sign the roster sir and I need your license please
Lady: I need some Sudafed, or a decongestant. I have a head cold.
Pharmacist: Didn't you just get out of that car with the Native man who just bought Sudafed?
Lady: We road together but we don't live together, we both need our own medicine.
Pharmacist: And I assume you know, also, that you need to provide ID and sign our roster.
Lady: Yeah, I mean, I have signed it before, like last week... do I need to sign it again?
Pharmacist: Yes ma'am... troubling head cold you have, you bought Sudafed last week?
Lady: I think it is that Siloam mold. Our whole household gets it... but not him (nodding to the Native gentlemen) he ain't in my household.
The pharmacist repeats the process.
*MOMENTS LATER * Siloam Springs Police Officer Walks in...
Officer: Hey, can I get your roster I just got a report that a car full of individuals have been to both Wal-Mart and Walgreens with head colds in need of Sudafed. They have a Meth house ring and I need to see what names they signed.
Pharmacist looks at me and rolls his eyes, Pharmacist: Well hell! I could have told ya that! We were wondering if there was some kind of super bug and if we need to back away the way they were eyeing those decongestants.
*At this point I double over in laughter and the Police officer can't help but crack up. We laugh for awhile while the officer obtains the licenses and names of the "head cold clan"...
*ABOUT 4 Mins. Later*
A man in a cut off shirt with several viking tattoos walks in... he is all twitchy and creepy and nudges me out of the way to talk to the pharmacist.
Man: Hey Ken (our pharmacist) when you got a second I need that decongestant seven stuff.
Pharmacist: It is called Sudafed, otherwise I don't know what you are talking about...
Man: That works. I got my license. Where is the clipboard.
Pharmacist: Hold on...
As the pharmacist gets all the paperwork Twitchy Creepy Man loads a dollar's worth of dimes into a gum machine, puts all of the gum in his mouth... chews four or five times and then swallows it. He wipes his mouth and leaves rainbow colored drool on his hand.
Pharmacist: Here ya go...
The man walks out and EVERYONE pauses before we erupt into laughter...
Pharmacist (speaking to me): Well that was surreal... did you know their Meth house was behind the block of here...
Me: How do you do this job?
Pharmacist: I deal with doctors and Meth heads, what can I say...
Only in Siloam Springs, Arkansas... ya'll.