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These are my thoughts, yo.

Filtering by Tag: Garrett

A Father's View: Champions For Kids and RazorFest

jasmine banks


I am a very involved father. I don’t say that because there aren’t others dads out there just as in tuned with their kids as I am, because they are out there. The problem is our collective community still sees parenting as a female role and the father’s position as being one of provider and not hands on. There is  "Mother’s Day Out”, “Mommy and Me” classes, and the list goes on and on. Since there are not as many community supported ways for dads and their kids to get together in an organized way I am always on the lookout for opportunities to share space with my kids. Recently Champions for Kids, an organization our family has partnered with in the past, headed up RazorFest in conjunction with the University of Arkansas’ Red and White football game. My kids and I love the outdoors and frequently go on Sunday morning hikes and kick a soccer ball at our local park and RazorFest was a great opportunity to get out of the house on a Saturday and interact with other kids and families just like ours. Champions for Kids is an organization dedicated to helping the whole child from food to toothbrushes to school supplies. (Side note: shouldn’t it be teethbrushes? Just putting it out there.) Champions for Kids created a fun and intentional atmosphere for dads like me to have a place to take his kids for a fun and inviting morning and also a way to teach them about the needs of others. Isaiah plays a fun carnival game


Helping them understand that bringing an item with us to give to someone else because they don’t have enough takes it from the abstract to a real service project for our kids. Helping them to remember that it doesn’t take a lot or even something difficult to lend a helping hand to someone else is a great lesson to start out young with and allow for blossoming and growing as they get older.


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Wanna learn more about the simple service projects Champions For Kids creates? Check them out on Facebook , look for simple service project ideas at Champions For Kids, check out the RazorFest site and plan to attend next year, or Follow them on Twitter!




I am a member of the Collective Bias®  Social Fabric® Community.  This shop has been compensated as part of a social shopper insights study for Collective Bias®  and Champions For Kids #cbias #SocialFabric all opinions are my own.

Sex Addiction: My Husband Went to Rehab and All I Got Was This Crummy Angst

jasmine banks


  "I love my husband. The other day he folded all the laundry, put it away, and even did the dishes...I have the best hubby in the world!" Comments like these are typical in the culture I currently live in. The noxious Facebook status updates roll through my feed as I sit at the table and ignore doing the dishes. They drum up this deep annoyance for me. Angst.  I was ranting about it to my friend today. I yelled, "Why in the hell does doing every day egalitarian tasks warrant such adoration?"  On the surface I don't think these things, these acts, should count as "special treatment" for a woman. I think that family duties should be shared... just because I have a vagina does not mean I belong in the kitchen. *fist bump for the feminists*

Truth is.

I'm not really mad about the fact that these women are so moved with joy that their partners did the dishes for them and they are gushing vapidly.  I am mad about this deep existential crisis in my heart. I am mad that their lives are so simple. I am mad that my life is so complex, so hard. I am mad that  they are so easily pleased by dishes, laundry, and the hour their husbands took the kids. My husband does the dishes, he sweeps the floors, I leave for weekends and he cares for the kids solo, and he wakes up at night to diaper and feed babies while I sleep.... but he is a addict.

Sex addiction is not unlike alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling addiction, or food addiction. It is a compulsive drive to act out in an addictive cycle. It involves trauma and shame and is far more stigmatized than other addictions. Sexual addiction is best described as a progressive intimacy disorder characterized by compulsive sexual thoughts and acts. * Like all addictions, its negative impact on the addict and on family members increases as the disorder progresses. Over time, the addict usually has to intensify the addictive behavior to achieve the same results.

I learned a little less than two years ago that the person I married was an addict. He was an addict BEFORE we were married. It had been kept a secret.
I was blindsided.
The man I married was not the man I discovered.
I was sleeping with a stranger
A stranger who didn't give a damn about vows.
It is easy to get mad and point fingers and demonize. Sex addicts are just like other addicts. They are wrapped up in a disease that has its roots in trauma they have experienced. I straddle the two worlds. There is the one world where I am so pissed at him and think about how evil he is and the other world is where I am deeply hurt for him. Deep pain and abuse creates addicts.
He left in October for rehab. I spent 35 days being a single parent, figuring out what marriage.

                                                                      meant to me.
I cried
I threw things
I blamed people
I stared into space
I attempted to avoid
I emotionally vomited to complete strangers.
He moved out from our family home and we were seperated. It isn't the first time that we've been separated. When the initial disclosure happened I asked him to leave as well.
He has moved back in. We are seeking reconciliation and sobriety. I am trying to figure out what life means knowing who he truly is. I feel a comfortable mix of hope and hurt. I am trying to piece together what was real about my previous relationship with my husband and what was part of being manipulated by an addict. I am trying to figure out what part of our life falling a part was because of my baggage and issues. I am holding so tightly to the belief that God is a loving and sovereign force that heals and redeems all things- no matter how broken they look.
I am embracing the people who hold me togther when I am falling a part.
I am waiting and watching and trying to see if I can figure out how to trust again.
.... I wish it was as easy as getting him to do the damn dishes.

Arkansas Children's Hospital

jasmine banks


At Addison's year check up our PCP talked to us about some worries he had concerning Addison's development. She had breast tissue developed, poor growth, and some other issues. He mentioned several things that could be causing her issues:  

  • Dwarfism
  • A brain tumor
  • Liver function issues
  • Failure to thrive

"Geez. I thought...those all sound like no big swig!" I promptly began to freak out and wondered what could be wrong with my baby. Our doctor said he was referring us to Arkansas Children's Hospital. When you hear those words it is hard not to be worried... after all the Arkansas Children's Hospital in Little Rock is where some of the  worse of the worst cases go. So to be referred there, for me, meant doom and gloom. Garrett and I braced ourselves for our impending appointment and wondered where we might buy clothing for Addison if she, indeed, was a little person.


We arrived at Arkansas Children's Hospital at the Circle of Friends Endocrinology clinic. The whole situation reminded me of St.Jude Children's Hospital- I spent many a day there with my brother who died from Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia.  Addison was in great spirits and Garrett seemed cool and collected. We were somewhat happy as we realized it was one of the few times we were able to be alone with Addy. Special time for us, even if it meant the possibly awful reasons we could be alone at the hospital.





  The doctor finally came in and went over results. He concluded that he thinks the breast development was residual from breastfeeding so long (she is still breastfeeding), the liver function was worrisome because it could be Cystic Fibrosis (He sent us to take a test and it was NEGATIVE!!), and that someone must have charted her growth wrong because they marked her on the the 10th percentile. They drew blood to verify that she is not in precocious puberty.... and we await the results (still).

That day though, I was so thankful for Arkansas Children's Hospital. So many families go there to learn things that change their lives for the worst and best every single day. It is an amazing place, an irreplaceable resource and I am thankful it exists. Our Children's Hospital Endocrinologist assured us that he believes Addy's blood work will come back normal. We are thankful either way. Thankful for the hospital. For support and family. For our beautiful daughter Addison.