I used to wonder what people thought about me a lot. It took up a large part of my day, actually. My mind would be filled with all of the anxious scenarios and I would ruminate on my value as it pertained to the scenarios. It really wasn't a pleasant way to live. It took a long time to move beyond this habit. I still struggle on occasion, truth be told, but thankfully I have the love and support of so many strong people to remind me who I am. I hope you have that too.
I took charge of 2014 before it even arrived. In 2013 I spent a large amount of time in therapy, working hard to bring light to the darker parts of my life, fell in love with Roller derby, proudly supported my body, and showed myself I was powerful beyond my belief. I said goodbye to a beloved friend too soon, and goodbye to my marriage. That last one still stings and is still something I deeply do not want. Adulthood is about hard choices, though.
Transformation comes in single moments. Some of those moments we think are the most mundane and pointless moments, but in retrospect are so full of power and potential we wonder how we never saw them. Maybe, if you were like me, you were too worried about what people were thinking to recognize that moment of transformation. Let us not do that this year. Lets stare hard on at our reflections and be okay with what we see.
I am also joining Viva La Feminista in 365 days of selfies. You can find me on instagram and follow along to see what kind of transformation I might happen upon during this experiment.